Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Actually not working

By the time that I come to writing for myself in my book or blog, I find that I am exhausted. How do I then write from a fresh and 'me' perspective? I guess that's when I should be thankful that I can muster the fortitude to even write at all.

I just really am loving life lately, feeling so full of enthusiasm, direction, creativity and more. In short, I feel like ME again. And then my surro family crosses my mind and I miss them. It's bitter sweet to move on for me. I long to keep the memories fresh, but at the same time, it is refreshing to not feel sad. It's possible for me to think of nursing and cuddling Mika and not feel sad, but it is tough to keep it light. My overall feeling is that of gratitude that I was able to nurse a sweet little newborn for a month. I hope to carry those memories with me to the grave.

She's 10 weeks old yesterday and it felt like a real mile-stone to me. I find myself wondering how much longer I will pump. This has not be easy to let go of. I feel like they went so far away from me so suddenly and it's my only tie. When I am ready.......

1 comment:

  1. I totally understand that feeling...This is my last two weeks pumping and Im so sad