Monday, March 22, 2010

THIS is why I wanted to be a surrogate

Looking at this recent photo of Mom and her baby gives me an indescribable feeling that was what first drew me to the idea of being a surrogate. To see something so beautiful and know that I am the reason that they are together is something that will never leave my heart. I am truly blesses and thank God for the difficult and rewarding opportunity.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Gaining (non)closure?

As I shipped off the second and last cooler full of frozen breast milk this week, I found no sadness in the end of that connection. It seems that my sweet surro baby is so far from me that at times, I wonder if it was all a big, wonderful and scary dream. And then, the memories flood my mind and heart and tears fill my eyes. It seems she's so near and yet so far. What a strange place to be in. There are times when I long for my little Mika in my arms and at my breasts, but mostly, I am full of joy that she is with her mommy and daddy and enjoying the life she was meant to have.

Now, as my life is returning, so is my body and I'm enjoying new challenges and rising to the occasion. For one whole year, my strength was all in surrender......that beautiful yin energy that is passive and feminine. I am now, once again, able to let the dominant, yang energy come out and admiring how it so much more fully compliments my character.