So, back from a neighborhood pick-nic and actually chilled, I climbed into a tub of warm water......nice. At this event, I ran into someone that I had met a couple of years ago and her response to the surrogacy was typical, but tonight I find myself wishing I could just keep it to myself sometimes. But, with the fact that I am a divorced woman of four and very obviously pregnant, I feel that I must explain to everyone. Not sure if that is right or not, but I am kind of tired of the implication that it would be tough to give the baby up. I just don't see it that way, AT ALL. I do love babies and adored my own, but I have never felt like this baby is anyone else's other than it's parents. I look forward to the day when I hand her over and feel the joy in giving. I realize that I will have typical hormone shifts after birth and there will likely be tears, as there always is, no matter the circumstance. BUT, the resounding sentiment will be that of huge honor and maybe even pride that I was able to give a deserving couple their own child.
I guess what I am saying is that tonight, with being tired any way, I am tired of explaining myself. I realize that I think differently than a lot of people and I really do like that about myself. However, sometimes it leaves me feeling like retreating......
Going to do some writing in my book and lay down, watching this little girl roll around in my belly with awe.......
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